Is it the Right Day to Visit an Independent Masseuse?

 From my point of view there is no explanation or pattern to when men want to visit me.

I jokingly say there is feast or famine, but I have no idea why. 

Generally I'll have no bookings for several days -- a completely open diary -- and then 3 people will all want to visit me at the same time.

And that time will probably when I have a doctors appointment. You know Doctors are rarer than minotaurs, so I won't be cancelling any appointment to see one.

If there was a logical pattern to it, what would it be?

Sundays are a day of rest and what better way to relax?

Or sunny summer days can get one all hot and bothered and send your mind to thinking erotic thoughts.

Or rainy weather ruined all your plans to do stuff outside so now you need to do something different.

Or Friday afternoons should involve winding down at the end of the week.

You may try to work out some logic but really there is none. There is no pattern.

I can't honestly say one day is usually busier or quieter than another.

Full Body Massage or Body-to-Body Erotic Massage

The advertising around sensual massage is full of phrases, acronyms, and jargon.

Only last week, someone contacted me asking for Body-to-Body, which I don't do. They didn't want it anyway; they had just misworded their message to me.

Q: What is a Full Body Massage?

A: It is touching and stimulating your whole body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. I could touch you anywhere - external only (except for women this might include inside the vagina).

Actually, I don't massage faces though some people do and it is rather nice!

Q: Does a Full Body Massage include genitals?

A: Your private parts are part of your body -- so, yes!

Q: What about the Anus?

A: I don't insert anything into your bum. For men this would be called a prostate massage, which isn't something I offer. There are people who do this specifically.

Q: What is Body-to-Body Massage?

A: Two naked oiled bodies slipping and sliding over each other -- nice, if you like that sort of thing. 

To me, it doesn't sound appealing at all. If you want to be sexually adventurous and try everything on offer that is fine, but don't worry of some things don't sound nice and you don't want to try them.

The only thing I'd add is that to my mind it isn't really massage. I do not offer this. 

You don't have to try everything!

How Much does it Cost for an Erotic Sensual Massage in the UK?

 I wonder how many people see my advert but quickly scroll past because they see the minimum fee is £160.

Some advertising directories place the minimum fee high in the listing, so it's the first thing you see.

My £160 is alongside many listings that are around £60, which might make you wonder if there is a typo somewhere.

Dig deeper. Take a few minutes to look at the listings. 

The most obvious difference is that my listing is for a 90-minute massage, which takes place within a two-hour time slot. In other words, I charge £80 per hour. The £60 adverts are typically for a 30-minute session. 

It is not that one is better or worse; it is that they are very different things.

On a per-minute basis, the £60 session is more expensive, not cheaper.

But it is like comparing apples and perfume; they aren't the same thing. A quickie is one thing; a relaxed morning is quite different. 

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Reassuringly expensive is the phrase that comes to mind.

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There are plenty of other differences between services on offer. 

One thing you should know is that many of the people offering massage have minimal or no training in massage. They are making it up as they go along. Some of us are qualified and experienced.

Another thing to check is what is actually on offer. 

For some people, the term "massage" is a euphemism for many sexual services, including full sex. Getting you to do more and pay more might be a part of the process. This should be clear in the advertising, but sometimes it isn't.

I offer a massage. I'm qualified and experienced, and I only use my hands. And there will be no extra charges.

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To sum up: 

* In the UK, in 2024, you should expect to pay around £100 per hour for an erotic sensual massage. 

* But you need to do a little more research to make sure you are 100% clear about what is on offer.

Many masseuses have a minimum 2-hour booking slot. Some people offer a 30-minute massage, which will be very different.