This blog is written by a lady who enjoys providing Erotic Naturist Massages in Kent

I am a lady who enjoys giving erotic naturist massages in Kent -a specialist Lingam Massage, Kent, UK.

BT Internet users read this

Emailing me? Read this:
I reply to all my emails. If you do not receive a reply from me please check your spam or it may be lost in the world of wifi....
I answer the phone Mon-Fri at about 9am.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Booking Erotic Massage in Christmas Holiday Period

I'm not working on Christmas day, of course, that must go without saying.  And I will be planning trips to the panto. Oh yes I will!

I am, however, available for advanced bookings over the Christmas holiday season, advanced bookings must be made by email. I will not be taking general telephone enquiries, mostly my phone will be switched off.

Actually, my phone is usually switched off - communication by text message really doesn't work for me!

Monday, 2 December 2013

December is the busiest time of year

Here we are on the second day of December and looking in my diary I am almost fully booked for the month ahead.
To put that in context - I rarely see more than one client a day, so when I say I'm fully booked today that may mean just one booking!
Then there are other things I need to do to.
So unless I have a cancellation at this very moment the only days still available this week are Sat 6th & Sun 7th.
And I probably only have about 5 sessions available in the rest of December!
My next year's diary, however, is looking very blank at the moment. :)

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Would You Like Your Lingam Massage to be Done By a Babe?

Recent email exchange went as follows:
Where are you?
I'm in Kent
Too far for me babe.

Babe? Why babe on the end of the sentence?
Is this really the way to address someone you have never met? What kind of people use this word and why? What does it mean?  I'm sure I'm not one.

I think it is a term used by a young person with poor social skills and poor vocabulary but I could be wrong.  I'm probably old enough to be his mother, may be almost his granny!

I'm fairly certain I never actually see real clients who call call any women babe!
So, dear reader, if babe (or hun) is part of your language I'm probably not the woman you are looking for.

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

How much Time Do I spend on the Lingam when I give a Massage

From time to time I get asked this question.
I think it is  a strange one, isn't everything about what to expect right there on my website?

Not an unreasonable question, though so I have given it a lot of thought.
Really every session is different.  Usually men lay on their stomach for between 30-45 minutes. The remaining time they are on their backs and in this time I touch them all over.

So the lingam area might only receive 10 minutes of touch or as much as 45 minutes. It might be 15% of the massage or as much as 45%.

On my website I explain that the service is not about just one area of the body it is about the whole body being touched, feeling good and feeling erotic.  For example many men have told me they have never experienced their feet/toes being touched in such a away and would have never expected that part of their body to feel so sensual.

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Topless or Not Topless that is the question?

Had an email today asking me to remove topless pictures from my blog.  Is that the strangest email ever I have ever received?  Yes quite possibly.
I don't know whether the same person is heading a one-man campaign to remove scantily clad images from the web, page 3 from the Sun and the lad-mags from the supermarkets.

The rational in the email is that as some of my clients choose for me to wear my uniform in the session that is how I should appear on the website.  You don't follow that argument? No I don't follow it either.

Some people, a minority but a large minority, do book for a 90 minute or a two hour session and prefer for me to wear my uniform.  The majority choose equal status.  The details of the service with the price is fully explained on my website.  Do you have a problem with that?  Please leave you comments here.

It is the exceptional and unusual that that inspire my blogs, of course.

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Time for a hot sexy massage...

After a few warm Indian Summer days it is time to get the extra radiator plugged in to make sure my massage room is lovely and cosy for winter sessions.  I have plenty of availability, in fact I can tell you that I am fully booked on Thur 10th, and weekend of 12/13th October.

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Ladies offering Lingam Massage across UK

I am regularly asked if I can recommend someone in a different area of the UK who might offer the same service as me.
Sorry I can't.
Many of my clients are driving for more than 1 hour to see me and some travel hundreds of miles so I guess my lingam massage service is fairly unique.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

busy September & what about October

It has been a busy month, perhaps my busiest ever, don't know haven't checked my records but seems possible.
I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend though with no work booked until Monday and I will be having a few days off in October.

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Rushed off my little feet lately... yes I am always busy

Continuing the theme of strange emails, from my previous blog, I do hear from people who must think I have no clients.
They are full of suggestions as to how I should do things differently.  In other words I do not offer the service they are looking for but they think I should.

Well, if I was sitting around twiddling my thumbs I may have time to ponder suggestions generously given by people who have never met me.
I think I have a window for navel gazing and contemplation later in October.
September, I have been inundated with bookings with most of these being repeat/ regular clients.

The week ahead, for example, I am fully booked with only windows for last minute bookings tomorrow- Monday 23rd or next weekend (28 & 29th).  I think I have a space most days between 28th - 3rd Oct.

Despite mostly being booked in advance tomorrow is a good example where for once you could phone me in the morning and be naked in front of me in the afternoon!

Friday, 13 September 2013

Strange Requests from Massage Therapy Clients

I don't get many strange requests but if there is one a few times a year I will get an email asking if I could wear lingerie or something like that.
My reply is obvious - a two letter word.

If you don't understand why my answer is NO then think about how you would feel being asked to do your job in your underwear.  I don't know about you but I would feel silly!

I have my uniform, which is smart, practical and comfortable.
Or I am happy in my skin, naked is also practical and comfortable.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Some Tips on Giving A Great Erotic Massage

Quite a few clients ask how they can learn to do the same for their partners at home.
I don't run training courses and no you can't practice on me! lol
Here are a few of my top tips fr an erotic massage:

  • Make sure the room is warmer than you think it should be.
  • Long firm strokes with the palm of your hand cupped - not finger tips, not to soft.
  • Move slower than seems right - imagine being in slow motion!
  • Do not go straight to the sexiest areas!
  • Approach genitals, go close - but don't touch.
  • When you do finally tuch - be slow gentle and caress the whole region - in just the same way as you have massaged the rest of the body.
  • Nice music.
  • Lighting.
  • Talk and enjoy....

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Erotic Massage in April

I have very little available time this month so do not be surprised if you can't get through on the phone.  Send me an email if you can I always reply to emails or send yourself a reminder to call me the last week in April in the hope of getting an appointment sometime at the end of April or in May.

Monday, 25 March 2013

Had an email asking if I was still in business. Reasonable question as I haven't written much here recently. Yes, I am still open to new clients and have plenty of repeat bookings too.
Certainly glad I invested in an extra heater for the massage room to get through this never ending winter!

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Calories in a Lingam Massage?

After the excessive eating and sitting around of Christmas I found myself wondering whether having a lingam massage would help my clients lose weight.
The info is not easy to find if you search the web.
An orgasm will burn up a few calories.
But then again we'd use up calories even if when sitting around or sleeping.
Over an hour of massage - I would expect this to use up slightly more calories than just sleeping as the whole body is being stimulated, especially the surface skin cells.
Sadly though, I think you have to cut what you eat and do some serious exercise to really shift the pounds.
BUT really I still think lingam massage is good for you.  Because it feels good and makes you feel good.
And surely that should be an end in itself.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Not many men leave comments on this site, I think my cliients are very private people.  Nevertheless some have sent messages to me after their visits and I have put up a few quotes on my testimonial page.  Just click on the link at the top or this link here to view them.
And if you have been to visit me please feel free to tell other readers of this blog just what a nice time you had!