Choosing a massage therapist can be a minefield. There is so much variety and everyone seem to offer the world, or the moon on a stick.
This is another post on my series about stress relief when recovering from life's traumas.
If you are feeling particularly vulnerable and want to feel safe and nurtured then you aren't looking for a pretty young woman with nail extensions.
Oh, no. Not nail extensions. These will be a sure sign that the person is NOT trained or qualified in massage.
When you're healing from stress and recovering from trauma. You're not just choosing someone to work on your muscles—you’re choosing someone to hold space for your nervous system, your boundaries, and your emotional safety.
That’s where trauma-informed care comes in. A trauma-informed massage therapist isn’t necessarily a therapist in the psychological sense, but they are someone who understands that bodies carry stories—and that safety is the foundation of healing.
What Does "Trauma-Informed" Really Mean?
At its core, being trauma-informed means recognizing that:
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Trauma is common, and not always visible
The client might not want to talk about it
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The body stores trauma in many ways
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Touch can be healing—but it can also be triggering
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Clients need choice, consent, and control at every step
A trauma-informed therapist doesn’t need to know your whole story. They don’t need a diagnosis or a breakdown of your past. What they do need is an awareness that your body might be carrying things it’s not ready to release quickly—and the skill to create a session that respects that.
What a Trauma-Informed Massage Therapist Does:
✅ Explains what to expect before and during the session
✅ Checks in during the session in a gentle, non-disruptive way
✅ Respects your boundaries without question
✅ Welcomes feedback about pressure, temperature, positioning, or anything else
✅ Understands dissociation, freezing, or emotional release and holds space without judgment
✅ Knows how to pause or adjust if you become overwhelmed
You don’t have to “perform” wellness or explain your trauma. You get to just be there—exactly as you are.
What a Trauma-Informed Massage Therapist Doesn’t Do:
🚫 Push past your stated limits
🚫 Use techniques you didn’t agree to
🚫 Pressure you to talk or explain your emotions
🚫 Interpret emotional responses without consent
🚫 Assume that silence = comfort
A trauma-informed therapist knows: your body knows best. Their job is to support that wisdom—not override it.
Questions You Can Ask Before Booking
Don’t be afraid to ask these things up front. A good therapist will appreciate your honesty:
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“Do you have experience working with trauma survivors?”
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“How do you handle emotional release or overwhelm during a session?”
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“Are you comfortable going slowly or adjusting pressure if I need?”
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“Can I keep some areas of my body off-limits?”
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“Is it okay if I don’t want to talk during the session?”
Their answers should make you feel safe, not sold to. Your comfort matters more than their style.
HERE ARE MY ANSWERS, if you were to visit me:
YES! I have seen many clients over the years who have themselves going through or living with or recovering from all types of tough things... if you can think of it I have seen it.
We can stop. We can talk. We can be silent. I can hold you, or just hold your hand. You can cry, you wouldn't be the first.
Very rarely does someone ask me to adjust pressure or speed, I think I am a good judge and mostly get it right. But speak up if I have misjudged on this occasion.
You can keep some part of your body off limits, that is fine. BTW: The most common request is for me not to touch feet (and even this is rare. Most often it is because of ticklish feet, in which case I will ask you to trust me to try to touch you without tickling. It usually works well.
It is OK to talk. Usually we are silent throughout the massage. But talking is certainly acceptable. I do not instigate it.
You Deserve Safety and Respect
When you've experienced trauma, even small acts of choice and control can be deeply healing. A trauma-informed massage therapist helps you reclaim that power, in a space where your body is not analyzed or judged—but simply supported.
In the next post, we’ll explore something beautiful and a little mysterious: how touch without words can rebuild trust—and why massage is more than muscle work.
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