Sensual Massage Treatment for Stress and Trauma Concluding my blog series

 

Getting through period of great stress and recovering from trauma is rarely a straight line. It’s more often a spiral—returning to the same places again and again, but each time with a little more gentleness, a little more wisdom, a little more breath in the body.

This series has explored how massage can support that journey. Not as a cure or a fix, but as a companion. 

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Trauma Disconnects. Touch Reconnects.

Trauma often makes us feel unsafe in our own skin. We armour up. We numb out. We learn to live in our heads, switch off from the places that hurt.

Massage, done with respect and awareness, offers a radical invitation:
Come back.

Come back to the breath.
Come back to sensation.
Come back to the body.

Healing Isn’t Always Dramatic

There’s a quiet kind of healing that happens when someone holds your foot, your shoulder, your back—and expects nothing in return.

When your body is met with presence instead of pressure, each moment of safety, each minute of rest, is a message to your nervous system:

You don’t have to brace anymore.
You’re allowed to feel.
You can stay here.

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The Body Remembers—And It Can Relearn

Your body remembers what it’s been through. 

With every safe touch, every grounded massage session, you're not just easing muscle tension. You're re-teaching your body that the world can be gentle. That connection doesn't always hurt. That intimacy can feel safe again.

Massage won’t erase trauma. But it can help rewrite some of the stories your body tells about itself.

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Coming Home to Yourself

Maybe the greatest gift massage offers isn’t release, or relaxation, or even relief.

Maybe it’s simply this: reunion.

A return to the self, in all your complexity. Not fixed. Not perfected. Just fully present.

You get to have that.
You get to feel good in your skin—not someday, but now, little by little, breath by breath.

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Thank You for Reading

If you’ve made it through this series and exploring the connection between touch and healing—

remember:
Your body is not broken.
Your healing is not behind.
You deserve to be held with care.

Sensual Massage, Grief and Guilt

Grief is a shape-shifter. It can arrive like a tidal wave, or move in quietly and settle into the corners of your life. 

It can make everything feel tight, or numb, or unbearably tender.

Grief is exhausting. And it’s lonely. Even when others try to offer comfort, there are parts of loss that can’t be touched by words.

But sometimes, they can be touched by touch.

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Grief Lives in the Body

When you’re grieving—whether the loss is fresh or years old—you may notice:

• A tight chest, as though holding back tears

• Slumped posture, as if carrying invisible weight

• Shallow breathing or sighing often

• Difficulty sleeping, digesting, or simply being still

• A sense that your body is “not yours” or disconnected

These are physical expressions of sorrow. And they’re normal. Your body remembers. It holds the ache even when your mind tries to move forward.

Massage gives that ache somewhere to go.

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What Massage Offers in Times of Grief

🌿 Permission to feel without explaining.
In massage, you don’t have to describe your grief or narrate your pain. You just get to be there, held in stillness, and maybe for the first time—feel what’s under the surface.

🌿 A place to rest.
Grief is exhausting. Massage creates a quiet, safe space to stop holding it all together. To lie down and let someone else support you, even for a little while.

🌿 Gentle reconnection with your body.
Grief can make you feel far away from yourself. Touch, especially from a grounded and sensitive practitioner, helps bring you back—back to your breath, your skin, your heartbeat.

🌿 Support for the nervous system.
Massage calms the sympathetic (stress) response and activates the parasympathetic (rest) system. This shift alone can help reduce feelings of overwhelm, insomnia, and emotional exhaustion.

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Crying Is Welcome

Sometimes some people cry during a massage—especially when grieving. This can catch people off guard, but it’s perfectly okay. Some therapists call it an “emotional release.” Others just call it healing.

A trauma-informed therapist will never rush you or make you feel embarrassed. They know the body lets go in its own time.

Your tears are not an inconvenience. They are sacred.

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A Massage for the Spirit, Too

Grief changes us. It can leave us raw, cracked open, disoriented. Massage won’t fix that. But it can sit quietly beside it. It can be the warm hands that say, “You are not alone.” It can be the first deep breath you’ve taken in days.

Some people describe massage during grief as a kind of prayer. A space where nothing is expected and everything is held.

You don’t have to be “over it” to deserve comfort.
You don’t have to be okay to be touched with care.

You don’t have to feel guilty for seeking comfort.

Sensual Touch Without Words

Some things can’t be said out loud—not because we don’t want to share them, but because we can't find the right words. The words might not even exit to explain a feeling.

Stress often settles into silence. Into the body. Unexplainable.

That’s why massage—when offered with care, consent, and presence—can be so powerful. Not because of what’s said, but because of what’s felt.

This post is about the quiet intimacy of massage. About how stress relief and healing from trauma can happen in a space without words. And how, through safe touch, we can slowly rebuild trust.

It is another post in my series about stress, trauma, and sensual massage.

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When Words Aren’t Enough

Talk therapy is invaluable for many people. It helps us process, name, and make sense of what happened. But trauma isn’t just a mental story—it’s a physical one. It lives in our posture, our breath, our muscle tone. And sometimes, the body needs a different language.

Massage speaks in sensation.
In rhythm.
In presence.

There’s no pressure to explain. No need to retell your trauma. Just you, your body, and a steady, respectful touch that says:
I’m here. You’re safe. You don’t have to hold it all.

ABOUT ME: Personally, even though I offer MASSAGE THERAY, I have also trained in talking therapy and have many years of experience doing voluntary counselling.

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The Power of Being Touched Without Being Fixed

One of the most healing aspects of massage is this: someone touching you, and not trying to get you to perform, change, or even respond. They're simply with you.

That alone can be profound.

Especially if:

• Your boundaries have been violated in the past

• You’ve learned to tense or hide your body

• You carry shame around being touched

• You're used to being in control, always managing everything

To be held in a safe, neutral space—without pressure, without performance—is its own kind of therapy.

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Touch as a Bridge

For some people, massage becomes the first place they feel safe enough to cry, to breathe deeply, to come home to themselves again. That’s not because the massage "releases" trauma, but because the conditions for trust have finally returned:

• No judgment

• Clear boundaries

• Mutual consent

• No expectation of response

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You Don’t Have to Talk to Heal

If you’ve ever felt like healing required you to “open up,” explain yourself, or find the right words—this is your permission to stop trying.

Your body already knows what it needs.

Sometimes healing begins with a breath.
Sometimes with stillness.
Sometimes with a hand resting lightly on your back, asking nothing of you.

Massage, at its best, is more than muscle work.
It’s a quiet conversation of trust, presence, and care.

Choosing a Sensual Massage Therapist for the best experience in the UK

Choosing a massage therapist can be a minefield. There is so much variety and everyone seem to offer the world, or the moon on a stick.

This is another post on my series about stress relief when recovering from life's traumas.

If you are feeling particularly vulnerable and want to feel safe and nurtured then you aren't looking for a pretty young woman with nail extensions.

Oh, no. Not nail extensions. These will be a sure sign that the person is NOT trained or qualified in massage. 

When you're healing from stress and recovering from trauma. You're not just choosing someone to work on your muscles—you’re choosing someone to hold space for your nervous system, your boundaries, and your emotional safety.

That’s where trauma-informed care comes in. A trauma-informed massage therapist isn’t necessarily a therapist in the psychological sense, but they are someone who understands that bodies carry stories—and that safety is the foundation of healing.

What Does "Trauma-Informed" Really Mean?

At its core, being trauma-informed means recognizing that:

• Trauma is common, and not always visible

• The client might not want to talk about it

• The body stores trauma in many ways

• Touch can be healing—but it can also be triggering

• Clients need choice, consent, and control at every step

A trauma-informed therapist doesn’t need to know your whole story. They don’t need a diagnosis or a breakdown of your past. What they do need is an awareness that your body might be carrying things it’s not ready to release quickly—and the skill to create a session that respects that.

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What a Trauma-Informed Massage Therapist Does:

✅ Explains what to expect before and during the session
✅ Checks in during the session in a gentle, non-disruptive way
✅ Respects your boundaries without question
✅ Welcomes feedback about pressure, temperature, positioning, or anything else
✅ Understands dissociation, freezing, or emotional release and holds space without judgment
✅ Knows how to pause or adjust if you become overwhelmed

You don’t have to “perform” wellness or explain your trauma. You get to just be there—exactly as you are.

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What a Trauma-Informed Massage Therapist Doesn’t Do:

🚫 Push past your stated limits
🚫 Use techniques you didn’t agree to
🚫 Pressure you to talk or explain your emotions
🚫 Interpret emotional responses without consent
🚫 Assume that silence = comfort

A trauma-informed therapist knows: your body knows best. Their job is to support that wisdom—not override it.

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Questions You Can Ask Before Booking

Don’t be afraid to ask these things up front. A good therapist will appreciate your honesty:

• “Do you have experience working with trauma survivors?”

• “How do you handle emotional release or overwhelm during a session?”

• “Are you comfortable going slowly or adjusting pressure if I need?”

• “Can I keep some areas of my body off-limits?”

• “Is it okay if I don’t want to talk during the session?”

Their answers should make you feel safe, not sold to. Your comfort matters more than their style.

HERE ARE MY ANSWERS, if you were to visit me:

YES! I have seen many clients over the years who have themselves going through or living with or recovering from all types of tough things... if you can think of it I have seen it.

We can stop. We can talk. We can be silent. I can hold you, or just hold your hand. You can cry, you wouldn't be the first.

Very rarely does someone ask me to adjust pressure or speed, I think I am a good judge and mostly get it right. But speak up if I have misjudged on this occasion.

You can keep some part of your body off limits, that is fine. BTW: The most common request is for me not to touch feet (and even this is rare. Most often it is because of ticklish feet, in which case I will ask you to trust me to try to touch you without tickling. It usually works well.

It is OK to talk. Usually we are silent throughout the massage. But talking is certainly acceptable. I do not instigate it.

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You Deserve Safety and Respect

When you've experienced trauma, even small acts of choice and control can be deeply healing. A trauma-informed massage therapist helps you reclaim that power, in a space where your body is not analyzed or judged—but simply supported.

In the next post, we’ll explore something beautiful and a little mysterious: how touch without words can rebuild trust—and why massage is more than muscle work.

What Type of Sensual Massage Should You Choose

Not all massage is the same. 

This post is a continuation of my series on stress, destressing and recovering from trauma.

If you are recovering or going through a difficult period in your life style of massage you choose—and the person giving it—can make a big difference.

Some types of massage go deep, work fast, or aim to “fix” things. Some have no attention to the connection between body and mind.

Others take a slower, more intuitive approach. When it comes to healing from trauma, slower is often better. Gentler is often safer. And permission is everything.

This post offers an overview of massage modalities that may support trauma recovery, and how to find what feels right for you.

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🌿 Swedish Massage

Best for: Deep relaxation, grounding, and gentle reconnection to the body.

This is what most people think of as “classic” massage. Long, flowing strokes, soft lighting, and a quiet space to breathe. It’s not about digging into muscles—it’s about softening the whole system. Swedish massage can help your body downshift from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest, which is essential for trauma recovery.

If you're unsure where to start, this is a good first step.

THIS IS Specifically the type of massage that I do.

 

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🌊 Craniosacral Therapy

Best for: Subtle, energetic, and deeply calming bodywork.

This is one of the most gentle forms of bodywork. The practitioner uses very light touch—often holding the head, spine, or sacrum—to help your body release patterns of tension. You may feel like “nothing is happening,” but many people report a sense of emotional release, warmth, or dreamlike stillness. 

Especially helpful for those who are sensitive or overwhelmed by touch.

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🌺 Lomi Lomi (Traditional Hawaiian Massage)

Best for: Heart-centered healing, emotional flow, and a sense of spiritual safety.

Lomi Lomi uses rhythmic, wave-like strokes that feel continuous and nurturing. It’s often described as feeling “held” rather than worked on. This approach honors the emotional and energetic body, not just the physical one. In the hands of a trained and respectful practitioner, it can be incredibly nourishing for trauma survivors.

THIS IS actually close to or the same as Swedish massage. These techniques were certainly taught to me and are things that I incorporate in my massage practice. Therefore, I would say that exotic sounding names can be more of a marketing gimmick than an actual different experience.

THIS IS Specifically the type of massage that I do.

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🔄 Myofascial Release

Best for: Releasing long-held patterns of physical or emotional tension.

This approach targets the fascia—connective tissue that wraps around muscles and holds memory. It's often slow and still, with sustained pressure rather than movement. It can feel intense at times, but not painful. It’s about melting into the tissue, not forcing anything open.

A good fit if your trauma is stored in “holding patterns” like chronic pain, tightness, or stiffness.

THIS IS often included within a Swedish massage session and might not be identified under a separate name. 

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🛡️ Deep Tissue Massage

Best for: Specific muscle issues, but with caution in trauma recovery.

This type of massage uses strong pressure to get into deeper layers of muscle. For trauma survivors, this can sometimes feel invasive or overstimulating. That doesn’t mean you can’t receive deep tissue, but it’s important to work with someone who communicates clearly, respects boundaries, and adjusts pressure on request.

It’s okay to say no to intensity. Safety comes before “fixing.”

I do not do this type of massage. 

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✨ Energy Work (Reiki, Polarity Therapy, etc.)

Best for: People who want a non-touch or very light-touch option.

Energy work uses intention and presence rather than muscle manipulation. Some sessions involve no touch at all. These can be a great option for those who aren’t ready for physical contact but still want to feel supported and grounded.

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How to Choose What’s Right for You

• Start with how you want to feel. Do you need to relax, to cry, to rest, to feel warmth or support?

• Trust your intuition. If something feels “too much,” honour that.

• Check out the therapist ahead of time. Read their websites. They will have put all the relevant info there. If they do not mention these things then they don't do them.

• Go slow. You can always go deeper later. You don’t have to push.

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Massage for trauma isn’t about technique—it’s about presence, permission, and care. The right modality, in the right hands, can gently help you come home to yourself.

In the next post, we’ll talk about what it means to work with a trauma-informed massage therapist, and why that matters more than the style they use.

Sensual Massage for Stress Relief in the UK

For many people, trauma isn’t just a memory —something that happened in the past — it’s an ongoing experience that lives in the body. 

We call it stress.

It shapes how we feel, move, and respond to the world around us.

Trauma doesn’t just happen to the body—it lives there.

The Nervous System: Our Inner Alarm

Our bodies are wired to protect us. When something overwhelming or threatening happens, our nervous system kicks into gear—fight, flight, or freeze. These responses are natural and even lifesaving. But trauma occurs when we don’t get to complete the cycle. When we’re stuck in a moment we couldn’t escape, resist, or process.

In the aftermath, our bodies may stay on high alert. Muscles stay tense. Breathing becomes shallow. Sleep is disrupted. We may feel numb, disconnected, or like we’re always waiting for something bad to happen—even when we’re safe.

Signs of Stress: Trauma Might Be Stored in the Body

• Chronic tension, especially in the jaw, neck, shoulders, or hips

• Holding the breath or breathing high in the chest

• Startle response to sound or touch

• Feeling frozen, spaced out, or outside your body

• Difficulty relaxing—even when nothing’s wrong

• A general feeling of being “on edge” or emotionally raw

This isn’t just in your head. It’s in your tissues, your fascia, your nervous system.

Massage as Stress Relief

Massage doesn’t “fix” trauma. But it can offer a way back into the body, slowly and gently. 

Therapeutic touch invites the nervous system to shift from survival mode into rest mode. It helps the body release held tension—not just in the muscles, but in the deeper layers of experience.

When done with care and consent, massage can say to the body:
You don’t have to hold this anymore.
You’re safe here.
Let go.

For some, the experience is subtle—a sense of calm or lightness after the session. For others, it may be emotional, even cathartic. There’s no right or wrong way to respond.

Safety First

Because trauma lives in the body, bodywork can sometimes stir it. That’s why working with a trauma-informed therapist is so important. They’ll know how to read your signals, check in without pressure, and respect your boundaries at every step.

In upcoming posts, we’ll explore what “trauma-informed massage” actually looks like—and how different massage styles might affect the healing process.

For now, it’s enough to remember:
Healing isn’t just about talking.
It’s about feeling—when you’re ready, in your own time.

Sensual Massage Therapy in the UK and Get Over It

Stiff Upper Lip Syndrome - don't cry over spilt milk, just get over it.

All so easy to say, and embedded into our culture. But what about when getting over it isn't so easy. 

Where is the fresh start on a new day?

What has happened to you? Was it sudden and catastrophic—an accident, a war, a natural disaster. Or a  quieter, more invisible wound such as a long illness, a childhood without safety, a painful breakup, years of chronic stress, or grief that lingers long after a loss.

At its heart, trauma is not just the event—it’s the impact it leaves behind. It’s what happens inside us when something overwhelms our ability to cope.

Trauma Comes in Many Forms

You might be recovering from:

• A single, intense event (an assault, a car accident)

• A long-term situation (abuse, neglect, caregiving burnout)

• Emotional losses (a death, divorce, estrangement)

• Physical illness or injury

• Burnout or breakdown from relentless pressure

• Even joyful transitions (parenthood, moving, coming out) can stir deep emotional stress

There is no hierarchy. If something hurt you, changed you, or left a mark—it matters.

How Trauma Shows Up in the Body

Trauma lives on in the mind. It settles into the body. You might feel:

• Tension that won’t release

• Exhaustion that rest doesn’t fix

• Trouble sleeping, relaxing, or feeling safe

• A sense of disconnection—from others or from yourself

• A racing heart, shallow breath, or physical discomfort with no medical explanation

This is the body’s way of saying, “I’m still bracing for impact.”

Massage and other somatic practices work with the body to slowly unwind that holding pattern.

Recovery Is a Process, Not a Destination

Recovery doesn’t mean forgetting, ignoring, or forcing yourself to move on. It means learning to be with your experience in a new way—gently, patiently, and with support. Massage can be part of that support. It offers a quiet, nonverbal path to reconnecting with your body and reminding yourself: I’m safe now. I can soften here.

In other posts, I explore exactly how massage works with the nervous system and why certain kinds of touch may feel more nurturing or more activating, depending on your story. Keep reading and watch out for my future posts.

For now, remember this: if you’re carrying something heavy, you are not alone—and you don’t have to carry it forever.

Sensual Massage and How it can Help Recovery

 

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Massage and Recovery: Touch Can Heal

Are you ready for touch? To let go? For intimacy? To trust someone else.. a stranger.. in a safe space for a short time?

Trauma touches us all at some point—whether through overwhelming experiences, periods of deep sadness, physical illness, or emotional upheaval. 

Recovery is rarely linear, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. But along the path to healing, one tool may be massage.

Not a Cure—But a Companion
Let’s be clear: massage is not a cure for trauma. It won’t undo the past or replace therapy, medication, or other vital resources. But what it can offer is a gentle, grounding space where the body begins to feel safe again. Think of it as one piece of a larger mosaic.

Letting Go of Control
Trauma often leaves us feeling hypervigilant or disconnected from our bodies. During massage, something subtle but profound can happen: we soften. The quiet room, the rhythmic pressure, the steady hands—it all creates an invitation to surrender. Not in a frightening way, but in a safe, slow, almost dreamlike way. For an hour or so, we give up control and drift into a half-sleep, out-of-body space. In that stillness, the nervous system can recalibrate, if only a little.

Building Trust Without Words
Massage offers a rare kind of intimacy—one that doesn't require words. Trusting a massage therapist means allowing someone close, physically and energetically. For those healing from trauma, this can be a powerful experience: to be touched with care, held in safety, and not asked to explain. 

A Gentle Path Forward
Not everyone will feel ready for touch. And that’s okay. But for those who are, massage can be a soft, supportive presence on the journey of recovery. It can remind us that our bodies are not just sites of pain, but also of comfort, presence, and renewal.

It this speaks to you, you will know it.

What's Stopping You Having A Sexy Massage?

Or more to the point, why can't you visit me in Cheshire to experience my SENSUAL full-body massage?

Here are a few things that might come between you and your urge to visit a professional for a tantric, lingam or yoni massage.

No one offering the service local to you

It is common for people to travel a long distance to treat themselves. 

My regular clients typically travel up to 90 minutes(one-way) to visit me, and some come by train. People from much further away work a visit to me into a long distance travel route. Fortunately, I'm in the Midlands and near the M6, so readily accessible. 

You feel embarrassed

I understand that you might feel nervous and you don't know what to expect as you haven't done this before. I have seen many clients like you. I'm an experienced professional business woman and this is my business. I will look after you from the start. 

You are at work 7 days per week

I only work day times: But you work daytimes too. We are destined not to meet unless you book to visit me on a day that you aren't at work. 

You can't ever get through on the phone

Welcome to the 21st century. We have text messages and emails!

I don't run my business over the phone. It is best to email me. Text messages work as well. Best of all, if you definitely want to book then I have an online automated booking system, which is really efficient but involves many clicks.

BUT you want to speak to me on the phone

Why? I'm pretty sure what ever you need to know is on my website. That's the point of a website.. It saves everyone time and makes life easier for both of us.

All I can say is that sometimes I answer my phone so you can keep trying. I don't answer outside of 9-5. 

From my point of view, I fill my time with things to do so mostly it isn't convenient to answer my phone and talk to a stranger about my business.

simply the best erotic massage ever

 I received a lovely email this week from a first-time client who visited me last week.

I mean first time to me. He'd had plenty of massages before, from what he said.

And when he got up and dressed he was full of positive words. He said he'd never experienced anything like it and it was the best massage he'd ever had. So, that's what he said on the day.

A few days letter he dropped me an email to repeat the sentiment. My super erotic sensual massage had made a lasting impression. He was still thinking about it days later.

Shame he doesn't live nearer. Many of my clients live more than an hour away. Many come across from Wales. 

The journey might be worth it, but it might not be practical.

I award myself the trophy. I am a winner!

Everything you Need to Know About the Best Erotic Massage

The BEST EROTIC massage doesn't need to involve something strange and kinky that you've never heard of.

It shouldn't require you to search the internet to find out the meanings of strange terms.

From time to time people send me emails asking if my massage includes a blah-blue-do. What on earth is a blah-blue-do? I ask myself. 

I wish they'd spell out in the email what they mean... or what they are looking for and then I can say yes or no. 

Better yet. My service is described on my website.

Google is my friend and whispers in my ear what I need to know about this strange blah-blue-do thing.

No, I don't do Blah-blue-do. If I did, it would have said so on my website. 

Before you go and look up:

blah-blue-do  

don't. I just made it up.

But there are various things I'm asked about that amount to:

Naturist Massage

and 

Body-to-Body massage.

As I specifically do not take my clothes off I don't do naturist massage, which involves being naked. As I don't get naked I can't offer body to body... which isn't a genuine massage.

There is nothing wrong with two slippery lubricated bodies rubbing against each other (if they are consenting adults) but as I don't take my clothes off it's obvious I don't offer:

Body-to-Body massage

And as NURU massage involves being naked and Body-to-Body massage... You get the point.

ANYWAY...

I've gone on a tangent here away from the title question; let me address it now:

Everything you Need to Know About the Best Erotic Massage

The Best Erotic Massage will be different for different clients but it will include these basics:

* Feeling WARM 

* Feeling SAFE  

* Feeling COMFORTABLE 

* Amazing TOUCH

* Tried & tested techniques

* An understand of the body for health & safety

* Rapport between masseuse and recipient. This may be spoken and unspoken. I like to chat with my clients first just to build some connection. After this we are silent through the massage but the connection grows (perhaps on a spiritual level... it is hard to explain and understand).

* A quietness that allows the massaged person to "dream", to "fly", to experience something within themselves.

UNHURRIED... 

* Being aware of the expectations. So, I was going to say unhurried, but when I offer my slow unhurried massage --- UKLingamMassage DOT co DOT uk --- it doesn't mean it can go on forever. the chief limitation being myself. 

I pour a lot of energy into the massages sessions and can't continue much beyond 90 minutes because more than this becomes exhausting. You might want me to carry on for another hour but I really can't.

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Some people think an erotic massage is about ticking off a check list of activities with wonderful names in strange positions with glamorous young people.. And that's all well and good. But I don't think those are the criteria for judging the best erotic massage. My clients tell me it's what they experience with me.

Finding A Genuine Sensual Massage by a Qualified Masseuse in the North West or West Midlands

We ladies offering this service, we are definitely out there, but it can be difficult to find us amid all the other ladies who say they offer "tantric" massages, but really they don't know what it is or how to do it.

You need to read all the small print and read between the lines. 

*** SEXy TantRIC MassAGE in Staffordshire and Cheshire ***

If you have found my website or one of my blogs then the chances are you are looking for an erotic experience through touch. You want to experience that elevation. That high.  A sensual massage rather than sexual intercourse.

You want someone who understands and knows how to do this. I've been doing this many many years. And I consider myself fortunate to be able to share this gift of great pleasure.

A few people have told me they feel "amazing" afterwards. That word doesn't do it justice. They talk about experiencing the flow of energy as if I have poured my energy into them.

I know - we're logical people of science and it makes no sense! But yes, I feel it too. Usually I feel it, but not always. I don't know why. I don't understand the science but my instinct tells me we need to connect at a human level and both parties need to be open. I definitely meet a few clients who are very "closed".

They don't relax and they don't seem to want to relax. I could say more about that but it isn't necessary.

What I will say is that I take full control of the session and I tell my clients what to do. If you come with a good heart and open mind. If you follow my lead and my instructions then this should make for the best possible experience. 

And if you don't -- you'll still have a good experience but not the same experience that some achieve.

The Law & Sex Work in the Irish Republic

 I shudder to think of the consequences if they bring in the Nordic Model here - it is a law making it illegal to pay for sexual services. Everything I've read and based on all my experience, that law is bad for women and it's bad for men.

If they brought it in here my type of erotic massage might become illegal: it will be OK for me to offer it but it MIGHT not be OK for you to pay for it. It's a bit unclear whether a sensual massage would fall into the wrong category.

But the law has far wider implications.

In the countries where it has been implemented they have also banned advertising sexual services. So would you be able to find my adverts?

If I can't advertise in a cost effective way it would put me out of business.

And when I say cost effective - I mean CHEAP. I only see a few clients a week so I don't have a huge advertising budget.

Pretty much these legal crackdowns on sex work put independent women like myself out of business. But criminal gangs who run a 24 hour business outside the law and already criminals -- Pimps, brothels, street soliciting -- these things are already illegal and will continue to exist.

REVIEW of the Law on Sex Work in Ireland

In Ireland where they brought in this ridiculous Nordic Model there is supposed to be a review of how it it going by the Department of Justice.

Minister for Justice, McEntee said: 

it is “generally recognised that prostitution is inherently exploitative of vulnerable persons, mainly women and girls, and that many people are forced into prostitution through trafficking, drug addiction, homelessness and poverty”.

“A key purpose for the 2017 Sexual Offences Act was to provide additional protection to persons involved in prostitution, especially vulnerable persons and victims of human trafficking.

“It allows those engaged in prostitution to provide information to Gardaí, for instance if they were subjected to violence by clients, without fear of prosecution for selling sexual services.”

Fine words.

But look again at the last paragraph: 

in the UK sex workers can and do call the police when threatened with violence. Sex work is legal here. Of course victims of violence or threats should NOT be prosecuted. It isn't difficult to do the right thing.

The second paragraph: 

additional protection is a good thing, but is this the way to do it? The best thing would be to consult with groups of actual sex workers to come up with strategies for their protection.

And the first paragraph:   

prostitution is inherently exploitative of vulnerable persons -- no! I don't agree. This is simply not true.

Also in that paragraph: many people are forced into prostitution through trafficking, drug addiction, homelessness and poverty.

There are ways to tackle these route causes - drug addiction and poverty, for example. Furthermore, poverty forces people into many jobs and situations that they don't want to be in. Sex work is a valid choice, it can be well paid with hours to suit. It's a way for many women to avoid poverty and do work that fits in with childcare.

I have included the Justice Minister's words because it should be clear that the people who have control of the laws about prostitution and control over the review of such laws have a biased view and little real understanding of sex work.

S*x Work isn't anything like it's portrayed in Hollywood movies. It isn't TAKEN.

Sex Workers In Ireland

Sex workers in Ireland are concerned about the review process and are calling for a new fresh review to begin because the current review has been conducted over many many years and without much engagements from actual sex workers.

If you keep abreast of the news from around the world you will see this is a common problem. 

Do gooders* are out there campaigning to change laws to protect women and children from the downsides of sex work but without actually listening to the people who work as sex workers! You couldn't make it up.

*(((Do gooders? Or are they really religious evangelists with an anti-sex agenda????))) 

As ever, I should say many MEN are also sex workers. In the UK they might make up about 25% of sex workers, it's difficult to be certain of the numbers. 

 

Holding Back or Difficulty Achieving Orgasm: Anorgasmia & Lingam Massage

I think most people who meet me feel comfortable to discuss their problems if they want to. Sometimes, it takes 2 or 3 visits before they confide in me.

I don't have all the answers, but sometimes it can be helpful to just talk.

Today, I want to tell you about one tiny subset of clients I've seen over the years who rarely discuss their particular Problems. But I know it when I see it.

I'm unsure if they are embarrassed or don't want to admit they have a problem. They might not even acknowledge the Problem to themselves.

MASSAGE for Sexual Dysfunction

It is  a sexual dysfunction with a technical name: Anorgasmia

Even though the person is aroused and has plenty of stimulation, nothing can push them over the edge: they don't achieve orgasm.

This might be frustrating for them, but it might be okay. 

They can feel satisfied with the encounter, and their sexual arousal can decline after. Or they can be frustrated by believing that they are missing out.

I want men with Anorgasmia to know a couple of things:

Firstly, I can do magic, but I can't work miracles. I don't guarantee to make you come.

Secondly, you don't have to try to cover it up... I have seen this often, and it is far more common than you might realise.

How do men attempt to cover up Anorgasmia?

Well, it is obvious they haven't come. 

We can all see that.

But sometimes they'll insist on trying for ages, "Keep going, almost there."

Really it isn't

I know it isn't

Do they know too or are they trying to fool themselves?

Are they hard? Yes, they might well be rock-hard. I tell them to do it themselves, they might have better luck in their own hand.

I also tell them. "Don't worry, not every man has an orgasm. Some can't."

What I'm really saying is, I'm done here. Reality check.

Now, not every man with Anorgasmia keeps going in the hope that a miracle will happen. Many are realistic and tell me they are finished. They know that orgasms can be difficult to achieve.

What Causes of Anorgasmia & Treatments & Cures

There are many reasons for it. Similar to PE and ED, Anorgasmia can be a side effect of medication or a medical condition.

Alternatively, it can often be a result of something in the mind, such as anxiety.

If this is you, you might want to get to the bottom of it: do you orgasm sometimes or never? When did the Problem begin? Can you link it to anything?

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ANORGASMIA?

Anorgasmia, the inability to achieve orgasm despite adequate sexual stimulation, can affect people of all genders and can be due to a range of physical, psychological, and medication-related causes. Here’s a breakdown of the most common causes:

1. Psychological Factors

• Anxiety and Stress: Daily life stressors, performance anxiety, or generalized anxiety disorders can impact sexual arousal and the ability to reach orgasm.
• Depression: Depression can reduce libido, energy, and interest in sexual activities, which can lead to anorgasmia.
• Body Image Issues and Low Self-Esteem: Feeling self-conscious or having a negative body image can interfere with sexual satisfaction and orgasm.
• Relationship Issues: Lack of emotional connection, trust issues, or unresolved conflicts can disrupt sexual intimacy and satisfaction.
• Trauma and Abuse History: A history of sexual trauma or abuse can create deep-seated psychological blocks that make achieving orgasm challenging.
• Performance Pressure: Trying too hard to achieve orgasm can lead to heightened pressure and anxiety, which may have the opposite effect.

2. Medical Conditions

• Hormonal Imbalances: Low estrogen levels (in women) or low testosterone (in both men and women) can reduce sexual desire and sensitivity, making orgasm difficult to achieve.
• Diabetes: Uncontrolled diabetes can damage blood vessels and nerves, potentially leading to reduced genital sensation.
• Neurological Disorders: Conditions like multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, and spinal cord injuries can interfere with nerve signals necessary for orgasm.
• Chronic Pain or Illness: Conditions like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome can make physical activities, including sex, exhausting and uncomfortable.
• Gynecological or Urological Issues: Conditions affecting reproductive or urinary organs, such as endometriosis or prostate issues, can cause discomfort or numbness during sex.

3. Medication Side Effects

• Antidepressants (SSRIs and SNRIs): Many antidepressants are known to interfere with sexual desire and orgasm.
• Blood Pressure Medications: Certain medications used to manage hypertension, like beta-blockers, can dampen sexual function.
• Antipsychotics: These medications can affect libido and orgasm due to their impact on dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in pleasure.
• Hormonal Contraceptives: Some forms of hormonal birth control may lower libido and affect orgasm.
• Opioids and Recreational Drugs: Prescription opioids and recreational drug use can lower libido and cause sexual dysfunction.

4. Lifestyle Factors

• Alcohol and Substance Use: Alcohol and drugs can impair arousal and sexual response. While a small amount of alcohol may reduce inhibitions, excess can have the opposite effect.
• Sedentary Lifestyle: Physical fitness can impact circulation and stamina, both of which contribute to sexual satisfaction and response.
• Lack of Sleep: Fatigue from poor sleep can dampen libido and impact sexual responsiveness.

5. Age-Related Factors

• Menopause (in Women): The hormonal changes of menopause, especially the drop in estrogen, can lead to decreased vaginal lubrication and sensitivity, impacting orgasm.
• Andropause (in Men): A gradual reduction in testosterone levels can lower libido and sexual function, making orgasm more challenging.

6. Cultural or Societal Influences

• Religious or Cultural Beliefs: Some people experience internal conflicts if they were raised with strict or negative beliefs about sexuality, leading to guilt or inhibition.
• Sexual Education Gaps: Lack of education about sexual health, anatomy, or self-stimulation techniques may leave some people unaware of how to achieve sexual satisfaction.

7. Physical Incompatibility or Inexperience

• Inadequate Stimulation or Foreplay: Insufficient arousal can make it challenging to reach orgasm, especially in women, who often require extended foreplay.
• Misinformation about Sexual Preferences: Not knowing personal or partner preferences may lead to less satisfying sexual experiences.

Understanding the cause of anorgasmia is key to finding effective treatment, which may involve counseling, lifestyle changes, medical adjustments, or open communication with a partner.